Death of an American Dream

What if God has other plans?

The American dream is so expertly woven into the fabric of my identity that I’ve hardly ever recognized it as anything but reality.

We all know how it goes: If you work hard enough and believe hard enough, you can choose the direction for your life. You never have to settle for mediocrity or discomfort, suffering or poverty. You can live an auspicious life, and you should.

So imagine my surprise when I applied those principles to this new endeavor of mine (writing) and found that, despite my mightiest efforts and dreamiest dreams, I could not make doors open with my own blood, sweat, and tears.

How startled I was to receive that first rejection letter (and then the next, and the next, and the next), even though I had honed and perfected my message with the most meticulous care!

How unnerved I was when I wrote that blog post and NO. ONE. on social media engaged with it.

And how seriously ticked I was when I realized that publishing a book was not just based on good writing but also on politics, platform, and promotion.

For the first time, I began to question my ability to make my dreams come true. I suddenly looked at the prospect of mediocrity as a very real possibility for my life.

And it scared the daylights out of me.

With the American dream so deeply ingrained in my psyche, I have come to believe that if my life is anything less than auspicious, it isn’t a life well-lived. A mediocre life is a wasted life—a sign that time should have been better spent.

I suddenly looked at the prospect of mediocrity as a very real possibility for my life.

And it scared the daylights out of me.

Recently, I read the book of Hosea. Hosea was considered a minor prophet, and he was given the less-than-desirable job of telling the Israelites that they were like unfaithful lovers to the Lord, and that God was heartbroken (and angry) about it. But the most striking detail of his story is that God didn’t just ask Hosea to tell that message to Israel—he asked him to illustrate it by turning his life into a walking, talking allegory of the situation…by marrying a prostitute.

And the thing is, Hosea did it. I wager that he never dreamed of his life going in that direction. Maybe he’d once dreamed of achievements and applause, or maybe he simply hoped for a nice little house with a loving wife and a gaggle of kids. Whatever it was that he wanted, I doubt it was to tell a bunch of people the uncomfortable truth and to settle down with a hooker. But God told him to, and so he went.

Being obedient to God—that was his life’s success. He set down whatever plans and dreams he had and let it be enough that his legacy would be one of saying yes to God.

It made me stop and question my own life. What if God calls me to something other than the ideals of the American dream? What if he calls me to do the opposite of what I want? What if he gives me an undesirable task, or asks me to do simple work that no one sees or remembers?

Will I listen?

Will it be enough that he’s called me to something? That he set aside a job just for me? Or will I be all precious about it, and say, “Oh, no thank you. I’m holding out for a management position?”

To be as obedient as Hosea, I think, is a level of spiritual maturity I’ve yet to reach. And yet—I know it’s where I must go. Away from the empty belief that I hold all of life in my hands, and towards such deep trust in the One Who Does that I will go wherever he’s calling me. And that it will be, really and truly, enough.

Even if that means having to shed the American dream like last year’s coat.

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With the 30 Days of Poetry Challenge on my mind, it felt fitting to share this poem on Hosea (below) with you. If you want to join the poetry party (a large group already has and I’m so pumped and I want YOU to be part of our community, too!), click here to RSVP and get everything that you need.

I Think of Hosea

It starts with, "When the Lord first spoke to Hosea,"
[It was when he was an adult, of an age to marry]
And maybe Hosea had these beautiful plans of a Songs of Solomon love
And his mama wanted him to have a Proverbs 31 wife 
And instead God said [in their first reported interaction],
“Go marry a hooker.” 

And then it says simply, ”So he went.”
He went on that and blew up his plans
For a life, for a wife
For all the acceptable applaudable laudable ways God could have used him
And instead he wed contempt
[Yes, this is the way that his life went.]

And so what if God makes me like Hosea?
And says, "No, the opposite of what you want is what you’ll do.”
And my life 
[That I squeeze until it
Oozes through my fingers]
Doesn’t end up auspicious? 

Will it be enough
That God spoke something to me
And that my story goes, "So she went?"

I want to know your thoughts on this post. Have you ever felt this same friction between the American dream (what we’re told success looks like) and obedience to God?